Conditions of Marriage

Conditions of Marriage

Ascendants and descendants of the couple acting as witnesses to their marriage
Is it permissible for the woman’s maternal or paternal grandfather to act as a witness to the marriage contract?.
Praise be to Allaah.
In order for the marriage contract to be valid, according to the majority of scholars it is essential that it be witnessed by two Muslim witnesses of good character. It is acceptable for the witness to be the woman’s grandfather on her mother’s or father’s side, according to the more correct opinion.
Some of the fuqaha’ did not allow the ascendants or descendants of the couple or wali (guardian) to act as witnesses.
It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’ (5/66): The marriage contract cannot be valid if the witness is biased, such as the sons of the couple or the sons of one of them and the like, such as their fathers, or the son of one of them and the father of the other, because of the risk of bias. End quote.
i.e., he may be suspected of being biased, because he is likely to testify in favour of his father or son.
It says in Sharh al-Muntaha (2/648): The testimony of the wife’s father or grandfather concerning [the marriage contract] is not valid, nor that of her son or grandson. The same applies to the father, grandfather, son and grandson of the husband, because of the risk of bias. The same applies to the father and son of the wali. End quote.
It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah (41/300), discussing the conditions of the two witnesses to marriage: The witnesses should not be sons of the couple.
The Hanbalis stated – as al-Mardaawi said: That it is stipulated that neither of the two witnesses to marriage should be a son of one of the partners. So the marriage contract cannot be witnessed by sons of the couple or by the son of one of them.
The same conclusion may be understood from the general views of the Hanafis and Maalikis, that the testimony of a father for his son cannot be accepted, or of a son for his father.
The Shaafa’is have several views, the soundest of which is that the marriage contract is valid (when witnessed by the relatives discussed above). End quote.
One report is narrated from Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) which says that the witness of ascendants and descendants is valid. This view was favoured by a number of his companions. Al-Insaaf (8/105).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The second view concerning this issue is that it is valid for the witnesses or one of them to be one of the ascendants or descendants. This is undoubtedly the correct view, because the testimony of ascendants and descendants is not allowed when it is testimony in favour of a person, because of the risk of bias. But when it is testimony for or against him, as is the case with a marriage contract, it is not disallowed.
The marriage contract in fact is not exclusively about rights for the husband or wife, nor is it exclusively about duties, rather it includes both rights and duties for the one who enters into it. So the correct view is that the contract is valid. This was also narrated from Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) and was favoured by many of our companions. End quote from al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (12/99),
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A




Does he have to marry his female relative whom he touched in a haraam manner?

I am in a horrible situation. I have commited a sin by touching a unmarried women in our relatives. I didn't had exual intercourse but I have touched this lady and she also touched me. Now since this lady is relative ( my mothers brothers daughter) I am scared that this lady will tell others. I have so far led my life as per islamic shariah and people respect me a lot. I am unmarried and I am going to get married to a pios muslimah. Should I am liable to marry this woman whom I have touched? I am very scared of this woman who is neighbour to my family. What should I do to get out of this situation? I know that I have commited a sin. I am preying allah to forgive my sin. I can't imagine marrying this women who always used tricks to attract me. Now I am trapped. Should I tell my parents about it? Do I need to tell the girl whom I am gonna marry about this? Can the girl whom I have touched force me to marry her by islamic law?
Praise be to Allaah.
You have to ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him for what you have done, and you have to resolve never to go back to that. The fact that you touched this woman does not mean that you are obliged to marry her; there is nothing in Islam that compels a sane adult to marry any woman whom he does not want to marry. No marriage is valid unless it meets the necessary conditions, one of which is the consent of the husband who is accountable.
You do not have to tell your parents or the girl you are going to marry about what happened; rather you are obliged to conceal what you have done, and to repent, and this is between you and your Lord. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid this filth that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever does any such thing, then let him conceal it with the concealment of Allaah.” (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663).
“Filth” means evil actions and bad speech that Allaah has forbidden. Subul al-Salaam, 3/31
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

What if her brother is her wali and he entrusts the matter of her marriage to her maternal uncle?

A girl lives with her grandmother and maternal uncle. She also has a brother who lives in another country. She does not have other relatives and her brother is her wali ‘guardian’ but he entrusted his uncle to be her guardian and to get her married. So a student of knowledge started the marriage contract in presence of witnesses and under the guardianship of her uncle on behalf of her brother. Is this marriage contract valid or not? The contract has taken place already, but she did not start living with him yet. If her brother comes to attend her wedding, should they redo the contract or it is valid already?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The wali may appoint someone else to take care of the marriage of the female relative under his care, whether he is one of her relatives, such as her maternal uncle, or someone else.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/14): It is permissible to delegate guardianship in the case of marriage, whether the wali is present or absent, because it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delegated Abu Raafi’ with regard to his marriage to Maymoonah, and he delegated ‘Amr ibn ‘Umayyah with regard to his marriage to Umm Habeebah. And because it is a contract of exchange, so it is permissible to delegate it, just as it is permissible to delegate to others in matters of buying and selling. End quote.
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (18/103): The shar’i form of the marriage contract includes the proposal of the wali or his deputy, and the acceptance of the husband or his deputy, and that should be in the presence of two witnesses of good character. End quote.
Based on that, the marriage contract which was done in this case by the maternal uncle acting as the brother’s deputy, is a valid marriage, and it is not essential that the brother be present on the wedding day.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

Her father and brothers do not pray; can her younger brother act as her guardian in marriage?

I live in Canada. I intend to marry a religious girl from France. The problem is her wali (guardian). Her father and brother do not pray at all. What shall I do in order to not embarrass her? The only person who prays sometimes is her younger brother. What should I do? I think this girl is religious and abiding by Islam. Please guide us, may Allah reward you!.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
In order for the marriage to be valid, the woman’s wali (guardian) or the one who takes his place, such as his deputy, must be involved, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085), al-Tirmidhi (1101) and Ibn Majaah (1881) from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Narrated by Ahmad (24417), Abu Dawood (2083), al-Tirmidhi (1102); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 2709.
Secondly:
If the woman is a Muslim, then is essential that her wali should also be a Muslim, according to scholarly consensus.
Ibn Qudaamah said: As for the kaafir, he cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman under any circumstances, according to the consensus of the scholars, including Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, Abu ‘Ubayd and ashaab al-ra’y. Ibn al-Mundhir said: All of the scholars from whom we acquired knowledge are unanimously agreed upon that. End quote from al-Mughni (9/377).
Thirdly:
If a person does not pray because he denies that it is obligatory, then he is a kaafir according to scholarly consensus. If he does not pray because he is lazy and heedless, then the scholars differed as to whether he is a kaafir or not, but the correct view as indicated by the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the views of the Sahaabah is that he is a kaafir. See the answer to question no. 5208.
Based on this, the one who does not pray is not permitted to act as the wali or guardian in the marriage of a Muslim woman.
Based on this, guardianship passes to the next closest relative (after the father), namely the grandfather. If there is no grandfather or if he is not fit to act as the wali, then it passes to her brothers. If the youngest of them is the one who prays , then guardianship passes to him if he is grown up, otherwise it passes to those who come after him, such as brothers’ sons, then paternal uncles, then their sons, then to the sharee’ah judge if there is one. See the answer to question no. 48992.
In order to avoid hardship in this case, her brother or one who is fit to act as her wali – as discussed above – could do the marriage contract for you in the presence of two witnesses of good character, and this will be the valid marriage contract. As for the marriage contract done by her father, it will not be valid, but there is nothing wrong with you doing it with him, so as to avoid embarrassment and ward off problems, whilst striving to call him to pray regularly.
We ask Allaah to help and guide you.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

Ruling on a woman marrying someone who attends Mawlid celebrations and practices some innovations

My sister-in-law will be getting married soon. She is worried about the type of boy she can get married to. To be specific, she has asked me whether it is valid to get married to a person who is a strong supporter of the Mawlid or Milad-un-Nabi practice? I do understand that this practice itself is an innovation in Islam. However, the difficulty is whether one can get married to such people who practice Mawlid. In New XXX, the people involved in this practice, do this as an act of worship. People would be invited to attend this ceremony where various hadith are read, songs are sung and dua is made. People actually stand and sing! I hope this is the practice the fatwaa on your site refers to. The question is whether one can marry those who do this practice? The more difficult question and the one I am afraid to ask is whether these people are Muslims? Sheikh, you do not have to answer the second one if it is not wise to?
Praise be to Allaah.
With regard to the Mawlid and whether the one who does that is considered to be a Muslim, you will find a detailed answer in the Seasonal topics section of this website. In brief, those who do this are of many kinds, depending on what they do – although the Mawlid is in and of itself bid’ah (an innovation). But the ruling on those who do it depends on what actions contrary to sharee’ah they do in this Mawlid. Therefore the matter may extend as far as shirk and going beyond the pale of Islam, if any actions which are known to constitute kufr are committed on this occasion, such as calling upon anyone other than Allaah, or attributing any divine qualities to the Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) etc. But if it does not go that far, then the one who attends such events is a faasiq (rebellious evildoer) but not a kaafir, and his fisq (rebellion) varies according to the unIslamic or innovated actions he does in the Mawlid.
With regard to the issue of marrying a man who participates in things like the Mawlid, the ruling varies according to the state of the man. If he does things that constitute kufr then it is not permissible to marry him under any circumstances, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Such a marriage would be regarded as null and void, according to the consensus of the scholars.
But if the innovation does not reach the degree of kufr, the scholars still issued a stern warning against marrying innovators. Imaam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not marry a woman from among the innovators, or give your daughter in marriage to an innovator, or greet them with salaam…” (al-Mudawwanah, 1/84). Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said something similar.
The four Imaams (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that religious compatibility between the man and woman is one of the matters which must be taken into consideration. A faasiq (rebellious evildoer) is not compatible with a righteous, religiously-committed Muslim woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Is then he who is a believer like him who is a Faasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allaah)? Not equal are they”
[al-Sajdah 32:18]
Undoubtedly, following innovation in religion is one of the most serious forms of fisq (rebellion, evildoing). Paying attention to religious compatibility means that if the woman discovers that her husband is a faasiq, or if it becomes clear to her guardians that the husband is a faasiq after the marriage contract has taken place, then the woman or her guardians has the right to object to this contract and ask for it to be annulled. But if they choose to forego this right, then the contract is valid.
Hence we should be careful to avoid such marriages, especially since the man is in charge of the woman (qawwaamah) and he may give the woman a hard time or force her to commit some acts of bid’ah, or make her go against the Sunnah in some matters. With regard to the children, their situation is more serious, because there is the risk that he will bring them up to follow his innovation, so they will grow up following a path other than that of Ahl al-Sunnah. This will cause great hardship and difficulty to their mother who follows the way of Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah.
In conclusion, according to the scholars of Ahl al-Sunnah it is strongly makrooh for a woman to marry a Muslim man who follows bid’ah, because of the bad consequences that will result from that, and because it will cancel out many good things.
And whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than it.
And Allaah knows best.
See Mawqif Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah min Ahl al-Ahwaa’ wa’l-Bida’ by Dr. Ibraaheem al-Raheeli, 1/373-388.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid



Should he marry a divorced woman even though his family objects to this marriage?

I am a religious man, and I want to marry. I know a divorced lady who is older than me. She is religious and I always wanted to marry a religious woman. Alhamdulillah, I found her. She is righteous, beautiful, moral, wealthy and from a decent family. Just as the prophet described the good wife. I love her a lot because of her good character and mature mind. I do not find these characteristics at all in who is of a similar age to mine. When I told my family about her, they refused totally. I know that if I do not marry her, my life will never be good. I will hate my father like no one was ever hated before. Is it permissible for me to marry without my father’s approval and satisfaction?
What is the punishment for my father for preventing such halal matter for worldly, not Islamic reasons?
What do you advise her family in case they refuse as well? I want to protect my chastity by marriage as I am able to, like the prophet said.
Praise be to Allaah.
You have shown that you are in dire need of this advice, and we ask Allaah to help you to benefit from it as much as you have shown your need for it, and not leave you to your own devices and not let you form wrong ideas that your parents are not sincere towards you and that you may hate them like no one was ever hated before, if they come between you and your whims and desires!! Do you want us to talk to you on the basis of your thinking which sounds more mature than your age, the rationale that your parents do not understand?
Or do you want us to talk to you on the basis of your emotions which have overwhelmed everything, even your opinion of your parents?
As for your mature thinking, we will never tell you here: How many people were doomed because of their thinking and their over-confidence that led to their destruction. We do not need to tell you any such thing, rather we say to you: You must inevitably realize this yourself, as every wise person realizes it, and experience bears witness: You are thinking in an irrational way and you are controlled by your strong emotions that has taken over your life. If you reject this fact, which we hope you will not do, then listen, as you are very religiously-committed, as you say, to what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to women:
“I have never seen anyone so lacking in reason and religious commitment, more overwhelming to a man of wisdom and reason, than you”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (304) and Muslim (80).
We hope that you will open your heart and mind to what you are reading now and that you will be sincere to Allaah and to yourself. How did you come to know this woman? How did it reach such a state that you “love her a lot”?
You should realize that even if you got to know her in such a way that you have reached this state in a gathering for memorizing Qur’aan, then this gathering would be sinful and such a gathering should not be allowed, so how about other types of gathering and meeting?
You can only say that you love her a lot after haraam looking and haraam listening and following in the footsteps of the shaytaan until he made you see this woman in this way, which may not be real, so he has instilled in your heart the notion that there is no one else like her, until you have reached a state where you think that your parents are coming in between you and your happiness, and you hate them “like no one was ever hated before”. Are these the words of a religiously-committed and wise man?!
And you even ask “What is the punishment for my father for preventing such halal matter for worldly, not Islamic, reasons?”
Do you really want to know what their punishment will be with Allaah, so as to cool the flames of longing and deprivation in your heart? Or do you want them to be punished by Allaah?!
Whatever the case, by Allaah we do not know of any punishment that they would suffer with Allaah, so long as they are striving to advise you and to set you straight and do what is in your best interests. This is true even if they make a mistake, so how about if they are correct in that? And we ask Allaah not to deprive them of reward whatever the case, the reward for bringing you up, being patient with you, advising you sincerely, taking care of you.
If you ask about choosing between two things, starting your life by angering your parents and causing a breakdown of ties, or pleasing them at the expense of your emotions and choosing for yourself,
We say: Your question is wrong. There is nothing equivalent to pleasing your parents, so now can such a comparison be made?
If you want our advice, then do not do anything that does not please your parents. If you want a wife who is religiously-committed, then there are many other women who are religiously-committed, so choose one of them who suits you and is pleasing to your parents, so that you may combine two good things. Losing this woman is not the end of the world, as those who are in love imagine. Rather the matter of marriage is simpler than that; rather it is love, compassion and tranquillity, and this can be attained, especially between people of sound character.
All of this is what we would tell you, if you allow us to address you on the basis of your mature thinking. You should be aware that all these strong emotions will soon subside when dealing with the realities of daily life.
But if you insist on that, and you think that your life will never be happy and that you will hate … Allaah forbid; then we will address you now on the basis of your emotions that have blinded you and prevailed over your reason, so that you do not know what you are saying. Whims and desires and love are states of sickness, as Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Chapter: The reality of love, its types and what people say about it:
The doctors are definitively of the view that it is a sickness and waswaas (whispers from the shaytaan), and it is akin to melancholy that man brings upon himself by allowing the beauty of some images and characters to dominate his thoughts. The reason for it is attraction and thoughts.
End quote from Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (137).
So get married to this woman of whom you have grown fond, and there is nothing that can prevent that, even if it not readily acceptable according to people’s customs. But we advise you to consult someone whose reason and religious commitment you trust about that, who knows you and knows her, or at least who can find out about her religious commitment from a neutral person, and who will not be affected by strong emotions, or who rejects outright the idea of your marrying her.
If you become certain that she is indeed the religiously committed woman that you are looking for to keep you chaste, then it does not matter if what she said about her husband is true or not, because talking about such matters is not permissible, and it is not permissible to accept her view on such matters, because there is a dispute between them, and the fact that divorce occurred does not necessarily mean that all these crimes took place. It is not necessary in order for a man to marry a divorced woman that she should be a victim of such things. He may have been a good husband, and she may also have been good, but they could not live together.
We understand how your society views divorced women and even widows; it is a jaahili view first and foremost, which virtually excludes these women from a normal social life and a second chance at a life of dignity.
In this case we advise your parents to stop objecting and to pay attention to your situation. So long as there is nothing wrong with this woman’s religious commitment or character, then they have no right – once they have offered their advice – to force you to do something you do not want, and to prevent you from doing what you have set your heart on.
See also the answers to questions no. 30796 and 20152.
But it remains for her family to agree to that, and there is no solution for that in our opinion, rather it is essential that her family should agree, and it is not permissible for you to marry her without the permission of her wali (guardian). Even though it is permissible, is it wise for you to live in isolation from your family and hers, or that you can go against your family for her sake, and she can go against her family for your sake?
That only happens in love stories and emotional films. As for real life, it has different guidelines and measures.
May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him, and may He guide us all and protect us from the evil of our own selves.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A


Is the marriage valid if the woman says to her fiancée “I give myself to you in marriage” in the presence of her wali?

Will the contract of marriage be valid if the woman says by herself to her fiancée “I give you myself in marriage” in presence of her walee (guardian) who is her father, two fair witnesses, and many of her and her fiancée’s relatives, with eejaab (Proposal of walee) and qabool (acceptance of the fiancée) of this by her walee’s permission and approval?.
Praise be to Allaah.
A woman does not have the right to do the marriage contract for herself, according to the majority of scholars, whether her wali (guardian) gives her permission or not. The wali should do the marriage contract himself or delegate another man to do the marriage contract on his behalf, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali (guardian).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2085) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1839).
Ibn Majaah narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman can give a woman in marriage and no woman can give herself in marriage.” Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said in Buloogh al-Maraam: the men (of its isnaad) are thiqaat (trustworthy).
It was classed as saheeh by Ahmad Shaakir in ‘Umdat al-Tafseer (1/285) and it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1848).
Al-San’aani said in Subul al-Salaam:
This indicates that a woman cannot act as a wali in the case of marriage, whether for herself or for someone else. So she cannot give herself in marriage with the permission of her guardian or anyone else, and she cannot give someone else in marriage as a guardian or deputy. This is the view of the majority. End quote.
It says in Mughni al-Muhtaaj, which is a Shaafa’i book (4/239): A woman cannot give herself in marriage, i.e., she cannot do that in any circumstances, whether it is with permission or otherwise, whether she issues the proposal or accepts the proposal, because it is not appropriate for her to get involved with that, due to what is expected of her of shyness and modesty and because there is no reference to it in the sources.
And Ibn Majaah narrated: “No woman can give another woman in marriage or give herself in marriage.” It was also narrated by al-Daaraqutni with an isnaad that meets the conditions of the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhaari and Muslim). End quote.
Based on this, if the marriage contract was done in the manner asked about, then it is not valid and it must be repeated with the guardian himself or his deputy.
And Allaah knows nest.
Islam Q&A

Her father engaged her to him, then her father died and her paternal uncles want to change the agreement

I am a 29 years old man. About two years and half ago I proposed to my work colleague. I agreed with her father about everything and we became engaged, by the will of Allah. During this period of time we had few arguments. I had a very good relationship with her father until he died last January, may Allah have mercy on him. Since the death of her father, my fiancée’s uncles have interfered in everything, and they tried to change the agreement I had with her farther. Eventually one of her uncles returned what I have bought of gold for my fiancée to me to end the engagement. Although my fiancée and I still want to continue. Some wise brothers interfered to solve this problem and both families were happy to maintain the relationship. But her uncles are stipulating illogical conditions to complete the marriage, in opposition with my previous deal with my fiancée’s father. What is the ruling of Islam on this situation? Is it permissible for her uncles to alter the stipulations of the agreement with her father? What is the solution for this stubbornness?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Before answering your question, it is essential to draw your attention to the fact that working in mixed workplaces with men and women together is not permissible, and it is one of the doors that lead to corruption, as its effects on society are obvious.
We have mentioned the evidence for the prohibition on mixing in question no. 1200.
The one who is faced with the problem of working in a mixed environment – if he cannot leave that job – must avoid looking at women and being alone with them and talking to them about things that do not have to do with work.
Among the negative consequences of haraam mixing is what happens between men and non-mahram women whom they call “work colleagues”, such as haraam looking, talking and correspondence, and in many cases it leads to haraam relationships.
Secondly:
With regard to your question, it seems from your question that you did not do the marriage contract with this woman. Based on that, you are still a “stranger” (non-mahram) to her so it is not permissible for you to be alone with her or to talk to her too much, until the marriage contract is done between you. The marriage contract with a woman is not valid unless it is done in the presence of her wali (guardian). As her father has died, guardianship passes to her paternal grandfather. If there is no paternal grandfather, then it passes to one of her brothers. If she has no brother then guardianship passes to her paternal uncles. The wali does not have the right to prevent marriage without an acceptable shar’i reason. If he does prevent her, then guardianship passes from him to the next closest relative, then to the sharee’ah judge or one who is acting in his stead. It should also be noted that the maternal uncles cannot be walis of the woman.
See the order of guardianship in the answer to question no. 2127.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the woman likes a man and he is compatible with her, then her guardian, such as her brother then paternal uncles, must marry her to him. If they prevent her from getting married, then the next closest wali should give her in marriage, or the ruler, without (the wali’s) permission, according to scholarly consensus. The wali does not have the right to force her to marry someone she does not like, or to prevent her from marrying someone she does like if he is compatible, according to scholarly consensus. It is only people of ignorance and wrongdoing who force women into marriage or prevent them from marrying, who give their female relatives in marriage to people whom they choose for their own purposes, not the woman’s interests, and force them or embarrass them into doing that, and prevent them from marrying those they want out of enmity towards them or to serve some purpose. All of these are acts of Jaahiliyyah (ignorance), oppression and enmity, and are forbidden by Allaah and His Messenger. The Muslims are unanimously agreed that they are haraam. Allaah has enjoined women’s guardians to look at the woman’s interests, not their own whims and desires, like all other guardians and deputies who act on behalf of others. Their aim should be the interests of the one on whose behalf they are acting, not their own whims and desires. This comes under the heading of the trust (amaanah) that Allaah has commanded should be fulfilled, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, Allaah commands that you should render back the trusts to those, to whom they are due; and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice” [al-Nisa’ 4:58]. This is also part of sincerity that is required. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Religion is sincerity (naseehah)” three times. It was asked, “To whom, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “To Allaah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims and to their common folk.”
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (32/52, 53)
But we advise you not to marry her without the agreement of her family; it is essential to gain their approval and win them over, so that you will not be a cause of breaking of family ties that may never be healed after that.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A



On acting; and the ruling on marrying young girls


1)What is the ruling of islam acting in movies?.If it is allowed what type of filims must be them?.Also what is the role of women in movies ?.
2)Why islam allowed to marry children(girls) of age below 10 with out their permission(it is said that in the case of children,it requires the concern of their parents only.I also know it requires to get the permission in the case of adults).Actually marrage has to taken plce between the persons, who have even a little meturity.But in the case of children it not happend.Can you justify this ruling of islam(Child marrage ) ?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
The question of acting and related issues has already been dealt with in Question no. 10836. We may add to that:
Shaykh Abu Bakr Zayd (may Allaah preserve him) said: chivalry [i.e., behaving in a proper and decent manner] is one of the aims of sharee’ah, and anything that undermines that renders a person unfit to give testimony in court. Islam enjoins the loftiest characteristics and forbids base and vile characteristics. How often do viewers see an actor doing silly actions or moving or speaking in a silly manner, or even playing the role of a madman, idiot or fool. Based on this, it is clear to the wise man that acting is one of the things that most undermine chivalry, so it is one of the things that render a person unfit to give testimony in court. Anything that is like that is not approved of in sharee’ah.
See al-Muru’ah wa Khawaarimuhaa, p. 221, by Mashhoor Hasan
Secondly:
Marrying a young girl before she reaches the age of adolescence is permitted in sharee’ah; indeed it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point.
(a) Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise”
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
In this verse we see that Allaah has made the ‘iddah in the case of divorce of a girl who does not have periods – because she is young and has not yet reached puberty – three months. This clearly indicates that Allaah has made this a valid marriage.
(b) It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old, he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine and she stayed with him for nine years.
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim; Muslim says ‘seven years’)
The fact that it is permissible to marry a young girl does not mean that it is permissible to have intercourse with her; rather that should not be done until she is able for it. For that reason the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed the consummation of his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah. Al-Nawawi said: With regard to the wedding-party of a young married girl at the time of consummating the marriage, if the husband and the guardian of the girl agree upon something that will not cause harm to the young girl, then that may be done. If they disagree, then Ahmad and Abu ‘Ubayd say that one a girl reaches the age of nine then the marriage may be consummated even without her consent, but that does not apply in the case of who is younger. Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Abu Haneefah said: the marriage may be consummated when the girl is able for intercourse, which varies from one girl to another, so no age limit can be set. This is the correct view. There is nothing in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah to set an age limit, or to forbid that in the case of a girl who is able for it before the age of nine, or to allow it in the case of a girl who is not able for it and has reached the age of nine. Al-Dawoodi said: ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was reached physical maturity (at the time when her marriage was consummated).
Sharh Muslim, 9/206
It is preferable for a guardian not to marry off his daughter when she is still young unless there is a valid reason for that.
Al-Nawawi said:
It should be noted that al-Shaafa’i and his companions said: It is preferable for fathers and grandfathers not to marry off a virgin until she reaches the age of puberty and they ask her permission, lest she end up in a marriage that she dislikes. What they said does not go against the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah, because what they meant is that they should not marry her off before she reaches puberty if there is no obvious interest to be served that they fear will be missed out on if they delay it, as in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah. In that case it is preferable to go ahead with the marriage because the father is enjoined to take care of his child’s interests and not to let a good opportunity slip away.
And Allaah knows best.
Sharh Muslim, 9/206.
Islam Q&A

He had anal intercourse with a foreign woman but they have repented. Is it permissible for them to get married?

We had anal intercourse, but we repented and regretted. We love each other very much we cannot separate. We want to marry and live a happy life. Is it permissible for us to get married?
We follow the ibadhi madhab, and it prohibits marriage between a man and a woman who committed adultry even if they repent. The evidence for this is that Umar ibn al-khattab separated a man who married a woman during her ‘iddah and said: “they shall never be togeather”, another evidence narrated by Ali, A’esha, and albaraa ben azeb, that “if a man and awoman who committed adultry got married, their relationship remains adultry forever”. Trust cannot be there between two who tested each other before marriage. What is your opinion?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
You should understand that looking for the right opinion on practical fiqhi matters is something good, and it indicates that a person is seeking the truth that Allaah has enjoined. Even better than this is that a Muslim should look for the correct belief that will save him from the misguided sects which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of. He said that there would be seventy-two sects, “all of which will be in the Fire” meaning that they are misguided and deserve this warning of Hell.
If you both regret what you did and have repented sincerely, then it is permissible for you to get married, and there is no reason why you should not do so.
As for what you say about ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab preventing the one who married a woman during her ‘iddah from ever marrying her, it seems – if this is a sound report – that this was a punishment (ta’zeer) to the one who committed a sin, and it was not a confirmation of a shar’i ruling that this is haraam.
What you have quoted from some of the Sahaabah, that they ruled that a couple who committed zina and then get married would remain adulterers forever, may be understood as applying to those who did not repent.
Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood that he said concerning the one who marries a woman after committing zina with her: They are still adulterers. Then he narrated that Saalim ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar was asked about a man who committed zina with a woman then married her. He said: Ibn Mas’ood was asked about that and he said: “And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves” [al-Shoora 42:25].
Ibn Hazm said:
The two opinions (of Ibn Mas’ood) are in harmony, because he only allowed marrying that woman after repentance. End quote.
Al-Muhalla (9/63)
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

Ruling on a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman and vice versa

I have some questions about Islam, could you explain them for me? Is it permissible for someone who follows Islam to marry someone who does not follows Islam without that person converting to Islam after marriage?.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman if she is Christian or Jewish, but it is not permissible for him to marry a non-Muslim woman who follows any religion other than these two. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”
[al-Maa'idah 5:4]
Imam al-Tabari said in his commentary on this verse:
“chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture” means, free woman among those whom have been given the Scripture, namely the Jews and Christians who believe in what is in the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel) from among the people who came before you, O believers in Muhammad, whether from among the Arabs or other people; you are permitted to marry them “when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” which means, if you give to those whom you marry of your (Muslims’) chaste women and their (Jews’ and Christians’) chaste women their mahrs or dowries.”
(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 6/104)
But it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian) woman or a communist woman or an idol-worshipping woman, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
A mushrikah is an idol-worshipping woman who worships stones, whether from among the Arabs or others.
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians, or any other kaafir religion. It is not permissible for her to marry a Jew, a Christian, a Magian, a communist, an idol-worshipper, etc.
The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
Imam al-Tabari said:
What is said concerning the interpretation of the words “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women to give birth to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background…
It was narrated that Qutaadah and al-Zuhri said, concerning the phrase “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikoon”, It is not permissible for you to give them in marriage to a Jew or a Christian or a mushrik who is not a follower of your religion. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/379).
Islam Q&A


Marrying a second wife when one is not able to take care of two wives

One man (muslim of course) much older than me (20 years)proposed me the merriage but he is not divorced with his first women. He helped me many times in my life and showed me the first steps towards Islam. My father and mother are mulims but they didn't learn me something about praying, fasting or zekat.
That brother is going to have two womens but he is not able to take care about both of them. I asked my cemaat about this problem and some people gave the positive answer some of them don't accept it. I feel respect for that brother but I am not sure that I can live with him. Could you give me the advice, please?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has enjoined certain things on a man who wants to marry more than one wife, which he must fulfil before he marries a second wife. One of these things is that he should be able treat them both fairly with regard to spending, staying overnight and providing accommodation. If he knows that he is unable to do that or that it is most likely that he cannot do so, it is not permissible for him to marry more than one wife.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”
[al-Nisa’ 4:3]
Mujaahid said: do not deliberately try to mistreat any of them, rather adhere to equal treatment with regard to dividing your time and spending, because this is something that a man can do.
Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/407
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for fairness with regard to spending and clothing, this is the Sunnah, following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He treated his wives equally with regard to spending just as he did with regard to dividing his time amongst them.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/269
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: [The Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat them equally with regard to spending the night with them, providing accommodation and spending on them… but it is not obligatory to treat them equally with regard to that – i.e., love and intercourse – because that is something that a man has no control over.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/151
Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: If he provides each one of them with sufficient clothing, maintenance and accommodation, it does not matter what he does after that of being more inclined towards one of them or giving gifts to them…
Al-Fath, 9/391
This is what Allaah has enjoined upon the one who wants to marry more than one wife. If a man is able to do that, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to marry him. If he is not, then we do not advise marrying him, rather it is not permissible for him to propose marriage in the first place.
With regard to your saying that he is not able to take care of two wives, if he is religiously-committed and of good character, and you can be patient and put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your agreeing to marry him. Allaah has promised the poor man who wants to get married that He will make him independent of means. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty”
[al-Noor 24:32]
Some of the salaf used to get married seeking provision, acting in accordance with this verse. But if you think that you will not be able to put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your refusing to marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Faatimah bint Qays, when Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) proposed to her, not to marry him. He said, “He is a pauper and has no money.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1480).
We hope that there will be no unlawful relationship between you, either now or after you refuse to marry him. If he has done you some favour by showing you the right path and teaching you, that is no justification for meeting, corresponding, speaking in private and so on.
And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A


Paying the girl’s dowry with her brother’s money


Suppose if a parents have Son and Daughter and after long search they found a husband for their daughters but bridegroom is requesting for a dowry but the parents are not affordable to pay them, so they try to get dowry for their son in order to pay for their daughter. Certainly they are not going to use this money except to give dowry for their daughter marriage.
I like to through some lights and give us proper guidence to handle this situation.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is very strange indeed that in some countries the dowry is paid by the bride or her family to the groom or his family. This is contrary to the Islamic principle, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded a man who was getting married to give a dowry even if it was an iron ring, and when he did not even have that, he made the dowry that he would teach her what he had memorized of the Qur’aan.
What is important is that in the marriage contract something should be mentioned as the dowry, even if it is little.
It was narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “I give myself to you (in marriage).” He paused for a while, then a man said, “Marry her to me, if you have no need of her.” He said, “Do you have anything you can give to her as a dowry?” He said, “I do not have anything but my izaar (lower garment).” He said, “If you give that to her, you will not have any lower garment. Think of something.” He said, “I cannot think of anything.” He said, “Think of something, even if it is an iron ring.” But he did not have anything. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Have you memorized anything of the Qur’aan?” He said, “Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah such and such” – and he named the soorahs. He said: “We marry her to you on the basis of what you have memorized of the Qur’aan [i.e., that you teach it to her].”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4842; Muslim, 1425)
This hadeeth indicates that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not agree to the man marrying without a dowry to give to the woman; he did not ask the woman for anything.
Moreover, the concept of qawaamah (being maintainers and protectors of women) that Allaah has enjoined on men implies that the man is the one who gives the mahr to the woman, because he is her supporter and she is his dependent.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”
[al-Nisa’ 4:34]
Moreover, the mahr is the woman’s right, because the man enjoys intimate relations with her, and the mahr is paid in return for that intimacy.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…”
[al-Nisa’ 4:24]
Imam Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The phrase “so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed” means, as you are going to enjoy intimacy with them, then give them their dowries in return for that, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other”
[al-Nisa’ 4:21]
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”
[al-Nisa’ 4:4]
“And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them”
[al-Baqarah 2:229]
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/475
It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been consummated then the mahr is hers, because she has permitted (the man) to be intimate with her. If (the guardian) refuses to arrange her marriage, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.”
Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this is a hasan hadeeth.
From this we can see that the dowry is to be paid by the man to the woman, not by the woman to the man.
Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood said: “The mahr is the right of the wife, and it must be defined. The wife or her family do not have to pay anything unless they do so voluntarily.”
Based on this, it is not permissible for you to take from your son’s money and give it as a dowry for your daughter. Shaykh al-Barraak said:
“If it is not permissible for the son to take the dowry in the first place, it is not permissible to take it for the daughter.”
If you fear Allaah, Allaah will grant a way out for your daughter. So she has to be patient and seek reward, and turn to Allaah and make du’aa’. If a person thinks of Allaah in positive terms, he will find that Allaah is as he thinks.
The scholars, prominent figures and the ordinary people in your country have to strive to change this bad custom and follow the Sunnah, and to do the right thing and follow the right way which no one is permitted to go against. That is by establishing proof to the people from the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the words of the scholars.
And Allaah knows best.
Announcing shaadi

In reading a Q/A about marriage, the part of the answer stated to 'announce marriages.'What is the reason behind this statement?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Announcing marriages is obligatory and the reason for that is:
1 – The Sunnah enjoins this, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce this marriage.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072.
2 – So as to distinguish the valid shar’i marriage that is enjoined by Islam from immorality, because zina is done secretly, whereas legitimate marriage is that which is proclaimed openly, so as to distinguish the one from the other. This is the wisdom behind announcing marriages.

Dr. Khaalid ibn ‘Ali al-Musha


Is it acceptable to Vivah a girl who has not yet started her menses?

I have not yet reached the age of puberty. Is it correct that a girl could get married before her menses start, or is that just a traditional myth?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Marriage to a young girl before she reaches puberty is permissible according to sharee’ah, and it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point.
1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise”
[al-Talaaq 65:4]
In this verse we see that Allaah states that for those who do not menstruate – because they are young and have not yet reached the age of puberty – the ‘iddah in the case of divorce is three months. This clearly indicates that it is permissible for a young girl who has not started her periods to marry.
Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The interpretation of the verse “And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise”. He said: The same applies to the ‘idaah for girls who do not menstruate because they are too young, if their husbands divorce them after consummating the marriage with them.
Tafseer al-Tabari, 14/142
2 – It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage with her when she was nine, and she stayed with him for nine years.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that a father may marry off his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger of Allaah married ‘Aa’ishah bint Abi Bakr when she was young, six or seven years old, when her father married her to him.
Al-Istidhkaar, 16/49-50.
Secondly:
The fact that it is permissible to marry a minor girl does not imply that it is permissible to have intercourse with her, rather the husband should not have intercourse with her until she becomes able for that. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed consummating the marriage to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her).
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A


She got shaadi biyah in the mosque without her parents’ knowledge


Is secret nikkah is permissible? My friend went to mosque secretly from her parents and had a nikkah but there was only one witness for the nikkah. Is the nikkah valid. Please advise may god bless you.
Thank you.
Praise be to Allaah.
There has to be a walee (guardian) and two witnesses to any marriage, because of the hadeeth, “There is no marriage except with a walee” and “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” Therefore this marriage contract must be renewed, if her walee agrees to that, in the presence of two suitable witnesses. See Question #2127.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Marriage of a convert: must he marry someone of the same race?
I would like to ask for your advice, I am a br. who prays believes in allah prays 5 times a day, fasts in ramadan
and converted to islam over 5 years ago. I am looking to get married, however on meeting the sr. that I like, I am finding out that since her family is from another Race and because of this they will not accept me as her husband.
She is a practising muslimah from an Indian/asian/pakistani/bengali type of background, and it is typical of people of these background never to let their children (especially girls) to marry outside their own cultures even if the one proposing is a practising muslim man.
Hence the mariage cannot take place on this basis alone. Since the majority of practising muslims in this country are from the indian subcontinent background,I have two questions
1- how does a relative new-comer such as my self get married?
2- Should reverts only marry reverts? Is there any basis for such cultural separation in islam? .
Praise be to Allaah.
With regard to the first question, and the second, as soon as you entered Islam you became one of the Muslims, with the same rights and duties as they have. Based on that, then you may strive to guard your chastity by marrying any good and righteous woman, based on the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], “Look for the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) – whether she is also new in Islam (i.e., a convert) or not. What matters is that she should be righteous, as I mentioned.
Then if you propose marriage to a righteous woman, and she or her family do not agree, then you must be patient and continue looking, whilst also continuing to pray that Allaah will make it easy for you to find a righteous woman who can help you to obey your Lord.
Secondly, with regard to the discrimination that you mention, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]”
[al-Hujuraat 49:13]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).”
(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69).
According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh).
The dung beetle is a black bug that rolls up excrement.
Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah). Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866
See the answer to question no. 13993.
We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to marry a woman who will help you to obey your Lord.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

She stipulated the condition that if he married a second wife, that second wife would be divorced
A man got married and they stipulated the condition in the marriage contract that every woman he married would be divorced, then he got married (to another wife). What is the ruling according to the four schools?
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked this question and he replied as follows:
This condition is not binding according to the madhhab of Imaam al-Shaafa’i, and it is binding on him according to the madhhab of Abu Haneefah, so that when he gets married the divorce takes place, and when he takes a concubine she becomes free. This is also the view of Maalik. With regard to the madhhab of Ahmad, no divorce or manumission takes place, but if he gets married or takes a concubine, the matter is in the woman’s hands: if she wishes, she may stay with him, or if she wishes, she may leave him, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The conditions which are most deserving of fulfillment are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible to you.” And because a man got married subject to the condition that he would not take another wife; he referred the matter to ‘Umar, and he said, “Rights and duties are to be defined in the light of conditions.”
So there are three views concerning this matter:
That divorce and manumission take place.
That they do not take place, and that the woman does not have the right to leave him.
The most just of the three views, which is that divorce and manumission do not take place, but that the woman has the right to insist on the condition: if she wishes she may stay with him or if she wishes she may leave him. This is the most moderate opinion.

Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/125.










Wali of Muslimah if her parents are kuffaar


Assalaammu'alaikum,
I come from a muslim family and was brought up with Islamic faith. Although, I have been through a stage in my life which I call the "dark stage" of my life, in which I was involved with "jahiliyah" practices for some years (yes, those irresponsible and sinful acts). Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with guidance and brought me to His straight path again. Since that time, I have been having a relationship with a christian girlfriend, who Alhamdulillah has accepted Islam just recently, by Allah's will. We plan to be wedded soon after we are settled. One problem is that she comes from a devout Christian family, not to mention her father being a christian priest. Ever since her family found out about our involvement, they have tried almost everything to part us, we haven't told them about my girlfriend's conversion though. Right now, our relationship has reached a point where she is willing to oppose her family and runaway from them eventually. Even though we know it will be hard to go through, my girlfriend and I really love each other. As I understand, the Islamic law requires that in marriage, a woman should be accompanied by a "wali", which to my knowledge, should come from her family. My first question, can our plan to marry without her family's consent be in accordance with Islamic law?
And second, if it can, who can be her "wali?", since not one of her family member agree with our relationship.
Thank you, assalaammu'alaikum.
Al-hamdu lillaah.
First, I offer thanks to Allaah for his grace in having guided you to the path of truth after experiencing a dark journey through 'jahiliyyah', a journey into ignorance and meaninglessness. Allaah guides to his truth whomever he wills. At this point of your life, as an expression of gratitude for Allaah's blessing, you should carry out your duties towards him and desist from the actions that gain his wrath. In fact, Allaah, at this point in your life, must take priority over everything else. You further ought to make up for what you missed in the previous part of your life, to double your efforts in performing worship and to haste in doing good deeds.
Secondly, since this lady in question has converted to Islam, thanks to Allaah, none of her kaafir family members can act as a guardian (wali) of her interests; no kaafir can act in this capacity over a Muslim. If there is a Muslim with some authority in your area over the affairs of the Muslim community, then he can act in this capacity, based on the Prophet's (peace be upon him) hadeeth:
"No marriage contract can be concluded without the presence of a Wali. A Sultan (authority figure) can act as a Wali for those without one." (see Ibn Majah and Imam Ahmad, Hadith number 1880; also in Salih al-Jaami', hadeeth number 7556.)
If there is no authoritative Muslim person, then one should refer to the community Muslim leader or any Muslim who is just ('aadil), respected, and of high character, such as the director of the Islamic center or its imam, to conclude the marriage contract of this sister, with her consent.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid



shaadi a non-Muslim woman in order to obtain settlement visa


i wanna marry a non muslim woman just for papers, without really practicing sex
should i do sex with her even if i just want to take the papers?is it possible to marry her for that purpose?
Praise be to Allaah.
We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:
If she is one of those whom it is permissible to marry, then there is nothing wrong with that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things” and he mentioned wealth as one of them… and this is akin to that. If he marries her in order to obtain the settlement visa, he should not have the intention of divorcing her as soon as he gets his settlement. And Allaah knows best.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen



Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man
It is permissible for Muslim men to marry women who are not Muslim, so why are Muslim women not permitted to marry men who follow a religion other than Islam?
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman from among the People of the Book, a Jewish or Christian woman, but not a woman from any other kaafir religion, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are At-Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)…”
[al-Maa’idah 5:5]
This refers to chaste women from among the People of the Book, not immoral women. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik who is not a Muslim, no matter what his religion is. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire…”
[al-Baqarah 2:221]
And because Islam should prevail and not be prevailed over, as is stated in the religion of Islam.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr
It is known that the man is the stronger party and the one who dominates the lives of the family, his wife and children. So it is not wise for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man who will dominate her life and the life of her children, the consequences of which will be very serious, as there is the possibility that he may divert her from her religion and raise the children in his own religion.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid



Guardianship over a woman’s shadi and wealth


We know that if a woman wants to get married, she has to have a wali (guardian) who will do the marriage contract on her behalf. But how does she decide who will be her wali? Does the wali have to take care of all the woman’s dealings? Please advise us, may Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
The ways in which a man may be appointed as a woman's wali for marriage are five: being her owner (if she is a slave); being related to her; being her patron (as when one tribe is patron of another, etc.); being a leader (of the community, etc.); and guardianship (wisaayah). The wali is one of the conditions of the validity of a marriage. It is not permissible for a woman to be a wali in marriage either for herself or for someone else for any reason; she cannot act as a wali for herself, on behalf of another or as the deputy of another. If she does that, the marriage contract is invalid.
A woman who is adult, of sound mind and sensible has the right to manage her own money and to dispose of it however she wishes, whether that is in return for something or not, such as buying and selling, renting, lending, giving in charity or giving gifts, giving all or part of the money. No one has the right to stop her doing that, and she does not need anyone’s permission, whether she is virgin who has a father, or does nit have a father, or is married with a husband.
It is permissible for a mother to dispose of her children’s wealth, food or otherwise, as is also permissible for the father. It is also permissible for a woman to dispose of and eat from her parents’ wealth with regard to things that are permissible for her.
The mother has the right to guardianship over the wealth of her children who are still young or who are insane, because she is more compassionate towards her child than anyone else.
A woman does not have the right to dispose of her husband’s wealth or give any of it in charity without his permission, whether that permission is explicit or is implied by custom and habit.
It is permissible for a woman to have the position of guardianship (wasiyah) over someone else’s money and she may be in control of money over which she has been appointed guardian, so long as she meets the conditions of guardianship, whether she is the mother of the children or is not related to them.
It is permissible for a woman to be in charge of a waqf; she has the right to be the guardian in charge of a waqf and to decide how it should be disposed of. This is according to scholarly consensus.

Wilaayat al-Mar’ah fi’l-Fiqh al-Islami, p. 691


Ruling on marrying a women when she is menstruating


Is it permissible to enter into the marriage contract with a woman when she has her monthly period?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle concerning that is that it is permissible. There is nothing to suggest that it is not allowed in the Qur’aan, Sunnah, scholarly consensus, words of the Sahaabah or correct analogy. I do not know of any scholar who regarded that as haraam or makrooh. But some of the fuqaha’ regarded it as makrooh for a woman to have the wedding party if she is menstruating, lest her husband have intercourse with her at that time and thus fall into sin.
The common folk confuse the ruling on this matter with the ruling on divorcing a woman when she is menstruating; there is nothing in common between the two.
It is permissible to marry a woman when she is menstruating, according to consensus, and it is haraam to divorce a menstruating woman with whom one has had intercourse, according to consensus.

Shaykh Sulaymaan ibn Naasir al-‘Alwaan


Is it correct for the husband’s father to be a witness to his shadi contract?


I have been married for two years but my marriage was done in the following manner:
Two years after getting engaged, we decided to do the marriage contract. I went with my father and my fiancée and her father to the registrar’s office, but we found only one notary public. His companion was absent even though he knew that he and his companion were supposed to sign the marriage contract. The notary who was present knows my father. That notary did the marriage contract and asked my wife’s father about the dowry and whether he had received it. He said that he had received it when he had only received half of it, and we went ahead with the marriage contract. When we came out I did not feel comfortable about that so I asked my father whether this marriage contract was Islamically acceptable, since there must be two witnesses and there had only been one. My father replied that there was nothing wrong with that, so I kept quiet, but until now I am not convinced about that. Hence I am asking whether my marriage is Islamically acceptable or is there any reservation concerning it? Can my father be counted as a witness? If it is not Islamically acceptable, what is the solution?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The marriage contract mentioned is valid and your father can be counted as a witness to your marriage. This is the view of Imam al-Shaafa’i and was narrated in one of the reports from Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on them both).
See Nihaayat al-Muhtaaj, 6/218; al-Insaaf, 8/105
That is because he is not a wali (guardian) with regard to marriage, so he may be a witness, unlike the wife’s father.
The view that this is valid was favoured by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him). After mentioning the first view on this matter, which is that it is not permissible for any ascendant (father, grandfather, etc) or descendant (son, grandson, etc) of either spouse to be a witness to the marriage, he said: The second view is that this is valid, and one or both witnesses may be an ascendant or descendent.
Then he said: So the correct view is that the marriage contract is valid. This was narrated from Ahmad and was the view favoured by many of our companions.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 5/163
Moreover you mention that you have been married for two years, so it may be assumed that the marriage has been announced publicly, such as inviting people to a wedding party and so on, as is customary among people nowadays. This is sufficient to make the marriage valid, even if it was not witnessed by two witnesses, according to some scholars. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah who said: There is no doubt that a marriage that is announced publicly is valid, even if it is not witnessed by two witnesses.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 210
The wife’s father erred by saying that he had received the dowry when in fact he had only received half of it, but that does not affect the validity of the marriage contract.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A




She loves him and he treats her orphaned daughter kindly, but their families refuse to let them marry


I have fallen deeply in love with a very good man, but his family vehemently reject me. The first reason for their rejection is that I was married before and I have a daughter. The other reason is that I previously tricked them with a big lie but now I am trying to make up for that lie, and I pray that Allaah will forgive me and that they will forgive me. Now, praise be to Allaah, I have started to adhere to Islam more, and I have started to wear niqaab and memorize Qur’aan, praise be to Allaah.
My question now is: is our marriage valid without his family’s agreement? Is his marriage to me considered to be disobedience towards them? Even though we love one another very much, and I acknowledge, praise be to Allaah, that this person has changed me a lot and made me more religious.
Is it permissible for me to get married without the consent of a wali (guardian), because my father is insisting that this man’s family must agree to the marriage before he gives his consent, otherwise he will refuse to allow this marriage so long as this man’s family refuse to agree to it. Please note that my father ignores me and rarely asks about me, and this man – may Allaah reward him with good – is the one who is taking care of me and my daughter, giving me love and security and taking the place, for my daughter, of her dead father. He gives her the love and care that her own family does not give her. My daughter and I are in great need of his love and care towards us. I hope that you can advise us. Thank you very much.
Praise be to Allaah.
Your question, may Allaah bless you, raises a number of issues, some of which are mentioned in the question and some to which attention must be drawn.
One of the issues raised in the question is that you ask about having your father’s agreement. You have to realize that sharee’ah stipulates that there must be a wali (guardian) in order for the marriage contract to be valid, because there is a great deal of evidence to that effect, such as the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) nikaah (marriage) without a wali (guardian).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh as stated in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani, 6/235).
There is great wisdom in what Allaah has prescribed by stipulating that there must be a wali. For example, the basic principle is that men are more perfect in reason, and have more understanding of where interests lie and they have more insight into the circumstances of men and what is suitable for a woman, and they are more able to take decisions, especially since a woman may be overwhelmed and swayed by her emotions. If we assume that there is some fault in the wali that make him unqualified to take responsibility for the woman under his guardianship, or he is preventing her from getting married to a compatible man with no legitimate shar’i reason, then guardianship passes to the next in line, for example from the father to the grandfather. (For more detailed information in this issue, please see Question no. 7193).
With regard to his family’s approval, this is not a necessary condition for the marriage to be valid, because the man is his own wali, so his marriage does not require the agreement of his family. They have no right to prevent him from marrying for no legitimate shar’i reason. His concern about their approval, especially his parents, is a good thing, and he may gain their approval by treating his parents well and doing whatever he can to make them agree to his choice, and seeking the help of Allaah in that by making du’aa’, debating with them in a polite manner, and seeking to convince them in gentle ways.
We are happy to congratulate you for Allaah’s blessing in enabling you to wear correct Islamic hijaab and to memorize His Holy Book. We ask Allaah to make us and you among those who act in accordance with it.
We would like to draw your attention to what you mention in your question about “falling deeply in love”, “we love one another very much”, “he gives us love” and “My daughter and I are in great need of his love and care towards us”. You have to realize that both Muslim men and Muslim woman must protect themselves against the things that may lead to forming an emotional attachment to someone who is not a spouse, whilst accepting that people may not be able to have full control over their emotions. But there are many things that a person may do that may lead to such attachments, and these are the things which are forbidden. For example, chat between a man and woman to converse, which may provoke these emotions and desires. Repeated visits are also forbidden. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172). These things are forbidden in order to close the door to things that may develop from them. The wisdom behind this is that it prevents the formation of an emotional attachment to a person whom it may not be easy to marry, which would result in heartache for both parties, examples of which are well known, both ancient and modern. This may also distract the heart from things which are obligatory, namely loving and obeying Allaah. Ibn al-Qayyim spoke of the damage caused by such attachments in some of his books, such as al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawa’, and Ighaathat al-Lahfaan, which are worth reading. You can also refer to Question no. 9465.
What we advise you to do, since Allaah has enabled you to wear the hijaab, is to complete the hijaab of cloth with the hijaab of the heart by taking an impartial look at the relationship you have with him now, and keeping away from everything that could make you form an emotional attachment to him, such as speaking to him, letting him visit you and your daughter, etc, which are haraam or nearly haraam. He, since according to what you say he is religious, should keep even further away from such things, lest the Shaytaan intervene between the two of you.
With regard to his kindness towards your daughter, we ask Allaah to reward him for that, but that should not result in any haraam action, such as his entering upon you when there is no one else apart from your daughter with you, because her being with you does not cancel out the fact that you are alone together in the haraam way which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against when he said: “No man is alone with a (non-mahram) woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by al-Tirmidhi in his Sunan, 2091; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2546). See also Question no. 2986.
With regard to your hopes for marriage to him, we advise you to do a number of things:
1. Pray istikhaarah a great deal until your Lord chooses for you that which is in your best interests in this world and in the Hereafter. To learn how to pray istikhaarah, please see question no. 2217.
2. Avoid the things mentioned here that may create an emotional attachment, because the most important means of attaining what one wants is adhering to sharee’ah and keeping within its limits.
3. Strive to reduce the intensity of love referred to in the question by understanding the dangers involved, and focus your heart on Allaah and on pondering the meanings of His words with which Allaah has adorned your heart by enabling you to memorize them.
4. Try to get closer to your father, treat him kindly and strive to honour him. Perhaps that will soften his heart and make him want to do that which will bring you happiness and stability.
5. Apologize to the man’s family and interact with them in a way that will show them that you regret what you did to them. Perhaps Allaah will open their hearts to this marriage, which will make it easier for your father to accept the idea.
6. Prepare yourself to accept what Allaah has decreed – even if it is not what you would like – by being prepared for the worst case scenario, such as not being able to get married at all, because when you accept the worst case scenario, it loses its power to shock you, which may lead to frustration or loss of faith, or thinking negatively of Allaah and His wisdom.
7. Strive to give this orphan whom Allaah has placed in your care an Islamic upbringing, and treat her kindly, for in bringing up and sponsoring an orphan there is great reward which may be the means of bringing blessings to you and divine help in all your affairs.
We ask Allaah to perfect His blessings upon you and to make faith steadfast in your heart and to help you to do all that is good. May He make this marriage easy if it is good for both of you, and may He guide us all to the straight path. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


Muslim shaadi a Catholic who doesn’t convert to Islam


Can a Muslim marry a Roman Catholic without the person converting to Islam?
Praise be to Allaah.
If a Muslim wants to marry a Christian woman, she does not have to become Muslim first, because of the general statement in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):
“Made lawful to you this day are . . . chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time . . .” [al-Maa’idah 5:5].
The conditions for a non-Muslim woman to marry a Muslim man are that she should be of the People of the Book (Jewish or Christian) and that she should be chaste.
We remind the Muslims living outside the Muslim world that they should not rush into taking such a step, and if they wish to do so, they should think long and hard, even though marrying a woman of the People of the Book is permitted in principle. There is a very real possibility of the children becoming Christian, especially in countries where the law favours the non-Muslim mother. In fact many such tragedies have occurred. We ask Allaah to guide us all and give us strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


Choosing a husband


What are the most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband? If she rejects a righteous man for some worldly reasons, will she be punished by Allaah?
Praise be to Allaah.
The most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband are his attitude/behaviour and his commitment to religion. Wealth and lineage are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the potential husband should be religious and have a good attitude, because if a man has religious commitment and a good attitude, a woman has nothing to lose: if he keeps her (remains married to her), he will keep her on a reasonable basis, and if he divorces her, he will set her free on a reasonable basis. Moreover, a man who is religious and has a good attitude will be a blessing to her and her children, for they will learn good manners and religion from him. But if the prospective husband is not like that (is not religious), she should keep away from him, especially those who take the matter of prayer lightly or who are known to drink alcohol. We seek refuge with Allaah.
As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and it is not permissible for them to marry believing women. It is important for the woman to focus on the matter of attitude and religious commitment. With regard to the matter of lineage, this is a bonus. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter etc.) a man with whose religious commitment and attitude you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.”
But if you can manage to ensure compatibility (in terms of lineage and socio-economic status, etc.) as well, then this is better.

From the Fataawa of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from the book Fataawa al-Mar’ah





Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage


I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don't like the guy who she loves. Any suggestions??
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).
‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).
So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid











They want to conceal their marriage


I am converting to Islam, however I find it difficult to tell my family..I will do so in time however is it necessary to announce it officially.
I wish to also become a wife to a man (who already has a wife and children) for islamic reasons. The difficult part is also telling his family
Is it necessary to annouce our marriage? As we do not wish to hurt anyone.
I trust you will be able to guide me as will Allah.
Praise be to Allaah.
You do not have to announce your Islam, whether officially or to your family, and it is permissible to keep it a secret if there is some fear of harm. As for marriage, however, the sunnah is to announce it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in Musnad ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072). If a marriage is announced in one city or location, it need not be announced in another, but we do not advise you to conceal the news of your marriage, especially since such news usually becomes known eventually. This news is likely to be a big shock to the first wife, so announcing the marriage is in the interests of all concerned, as it establishes fair and just treatment for both wives. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


Marriage after committing fornication (zinaa)


Can a man/women who is sexually involved before they are married, atone for their sins by getting married to the same person?
Praise be to Allaah.
If both partners repent to Allaah, and the woman is not pregnant, then they are permitted to marry one another.
See also question #33.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid




Ruling on marrying young women

I need to know, when did the Holy Prophet get married to Hazrat Aisha, there have been claims on newsgroups that the Holy Prophet was a pedophile. I want enough information to be able to answer such allegations.

I need to know everything about this particular marriage, quoting sources.

Wa-alaikum


Praise be to Allaah.

The answer to your question may be found in the ahaadeeth of Saheeh al-Bukhaari and the commentary of al-Haafiz al-‘Asqallaani, which are quoted below:

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me when I was six years old. Then we came to Madeenah and stayed in Bani al-Haarith ibn Khazraj. I fell ill and my hair started to fall out (due to the illness; then it grew back thick again). My mother Umm Roomaan came to me whilst I was on a swing and my friends were with me. She shouted for me and I came to her, not knowing what she wanted. She took me by the hand and led me to the door of the house. I was out of breath and we waited until I had calmed down, then she took some water and wiped my face and head, then took me inside. There were some women of the Ansaar in the house, and they said: " ‘Alaa al-khayri wa’l-baraka wa ‘ala khayri taa’ir (blessings, best wishes, etc)." My mother handed me over to them and they tidied me up, then suddenly the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was there. It was mid-morning, and they handed me over to him. At that time I was nine years old." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3605).

‘Urwah said: "Khadeejah died three years before the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) migrated to Madeenah. He stayed alone for two years or thereabouts, then he married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3607)

The phrase "he married ‘Aa’ishah" means that the marriage contract was drawn up; the marriage was consummated later on, when she was nine.

Muslim reports from al-Zuhri, from ‘Urwah, that ‘Aa’ishah said that she was taken to him when she was nine years old, and she took her toys with her. He died when she was eighteen years old. Muslim also reports a similar account from ‘Aa’ishah via al-Aswad. He reports from ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Urwah from his father that ‘Aa’ishah said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me in Shawwaal and consummated the marriage with me in Shawwaal."

‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old, and she stayed with him for nine years." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4738)

Al-Bukhaari calls this chapter of his Saheeh "Baab inkaah al-rajul wuldahu (or waladahu) al-sighaar (Chapter on a man marrying off his young children)." The fact that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
". . . and for those who have no courses [periods] [(i.e., they are still immature) their ‘iddah is three months likewise, except in case of death] . . ." [al-Talaaq 65:4]
is an indication that it is permissible to marry girls below the age of adolescence. This is a good understanding, but the aayah makes no specific mention of either the father or the young girl. It could be said that the basic principle concerning marrying children is that it is forbidden unless there is specific evidence (daleel) to indicate otherwise. The hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah states that her father Abu Bakr married her off before the age of puberty, but there is no other evidence apart from that, so the rule applies to all other cases.

Al- Muhallab said: "[The scholars] agreed that it is permissible for a father to marry off his young virgin daughter, even though it is not usually the case to have intercourse with such a young woman."

(The above was summarized from Fath al-Baari Sharh ‘ala Saheeh al-Bukhaari)

In summary, then, it is permitted to contract marriage with a young girl and to hand her over to her husband to stay with him before she reaches adolescence. As for consummating the marriage, this does not happen until she is physically able for it. Thus the matter becomes quite clear. Do you see anything wrong with a man living with his young wife in one house, bringing her up and teaching her, but delaying consummation until she is ready for it? We ask Allaah to show us truth and falsehood and to make each clear. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid



A man accepting Islam can remain married to Christian Patni


I have been considering accepting Islam for a number of years now. However, I am married to a devout Mormon (LDS) woman, and have ... children, whom I have promised to raise in her religion.
My question has two parts:
First, what is the position of a man accepting Islam with a Christian wife, and practicing Islam independently of her, and
Second, what of a promise to raise my children in a religion other than Islam. Obviously, I would seek to expose them to Islam, but I am wondering about things such as supporting her desire to have them attend her church, etc.Thanks very much, (name witheld).
Dear (name witheld),
As-salaamu 'ala man ittaba'a al-huda (peace be upon those who follow the true guidance). I was delighted to learn of your serious consideration and possible intention to accept the Islamic religion. No doubt that step would be the greatest thing in the entire NN years of your life. This step is the one that will protect you from the everlasting punishment of Hell and open to you the path to Heaven after death and will result in success and happiness in this life and the hereafter. I advise you to hasten with your decision and do not hesitate and postpone. You seem to me to be of sound wisdom that will lead you the path of truth by the will of God (Allaah).
As for your first question, it is permissible in the Islamic religion for a Muslim to marry a woman from the People of the Book (Christain or Jew) if she is chaste (i.e. of high moral character) and virtuous, as Allaah has stated in the noble Qur'aan (interpretation of the meaning of verse number 5 in the chapter entitled "Al-Maa'ida," The Table):
"This day are (all) things Good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues (girlfriends or lovers)..."
Based on this verse, your marriage contract will remain valid if you accept Islaam and become a Muslim, and it will not require renewal. Your remaining with your current wife is permissible as long as she is virtuous and chaste in marriage.
As for your second question, the child in Islamic law must follow the Muslim among his or her parents, and it is the Muslim parent's right and responsibility to ensure his or her proper upbringing, guidance, and supervision. Your statement that you would seek to expose your children to Islaam is a wise and judicious foresight. And we hope that with the passing of time that they will be convinced of this religion and implement it in their lives.
No doubt that you will face some difficulty in convincing your wife to raise your children in the Islamic religion considering the promise you have made to her. However, the use of wisdom and gentle judgment will aid you, God willing, in overcoming this difficulty. This is important especially considering that it is expected that you will exert a concentrated effort in inviting your wife to Islam, since if she accepts it, the problem will be solved from its roots.
In any case, and no matter what the results, the first step towards success will be your accepting the religion of Islaam yourself. We pray to God (Allaah) the Almighty and Magnificent that He eases your affairs and brings you success in finding the path of truth and that he guides your entire famliy to Islam.
I would be more than happy to dicuss any other questions or concerns you may have. Salaam. Peace.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


Woman’s right to refuse Nikah to someone


I have a question for my friend. She is 17 years old and they just moved here from their home country and her guardians and mom want her to marry her cousin who lived in their same house back home but this girl really refuses to marry him because she dislikes for some reason and she is begging and crying in front of her mother not to make her marry him. This girl is saying she will not be happy with him
My question is does any girl have the RIGHT to say no for her marriage if she does not like the man? This girl is Islamic and going to school and she doesn't know anybody to talk to but she really doesn’t want to marry him and her mother is utterly pressuring her by telling her she will die and she will be destroyed if she doesn’t marry this guy and her mother is telling her that nobody will marry her because she is not beautiful and rich.
Sorry it was long question but please reply me as soon as possible.
Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). This situation about which this sister is asking is a common one and occurs often as a result of a clash of desires between parents and their daughter. It could be for a benefit or interest the mother or father sees and the young woman doesn’t, and each regards the issue from a different perspective or with a particular consideration. And perhaps the opinion of the parents is the appropriate and correct one as a result of their prior trials and longer experience in life, and perhaps the woman sometimes looks to the appearance of the groom more than anything else, whereas the parents may look to other considerations, such as his family status, or his long-term career or employment. Of course none of this means that the woman’s opinion isn’t sometimes more correct and preferable, particularly when the opinion of the parents stems from a benefit they may realize if the marriage is accomplished, and they do not actually make the priority their daughter who is the most important thing in this issue. And while being vigilant in advising you of the importance of obeying one’s parents and struggling with oneself to realize their wishes and desires and giving their opinion the priority, the point must clearly be made that the following two hadeeth from the Prophet (peace be upon him) must be abided by and carried out, as within them are the complete answer to your question and questions from others in similar situations:
The first hadeeth:
If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami’ #270). (“fitna” here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred)
The second:
Buraida (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a young woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son (i.e. her cousin) in order to raise his standing among the people,” so the Prophet (peace be upon him) put the matter in her hands (i.e. asserted that the validity of the marriage is conditioned on her approval and negated by her refusal). So she said, “I authorize and endorse what he has done but I wanted women to know that fathers cannot force their will in these matters.”
And it was narrated by Nisaa’I via Abdullah ibn Buraida via Aa’isha that a young woman came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his standing among the people and I am unwilling (to agree to it)”, so she said, “Sit until the Prophet (peace be upon him) comes.” So the Prophet (peace be upon him) came and she informed him of the situation, so he sent for her father and invited him (over) and asserted that the matter is in the bride’s hands. So she said, “Oh Prophet of Allah I have authorized and endorsed what my father has done, but I wanted to know if women had a say in the matter or not.” (Sunan al-Nisaa’I, Kitaab al-Nikaah min Sunanihi and it is sahih).
I ask Allah for you success and guidance to that in which there is blessings for you and your family, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad .

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

in Law Issue

In-Law Issues

Disastrous Daughter-In-Law
Resolving the Conflict Between Wives and Their In-Laws
By Saleeha Bhamjee
This article first appeared in the Muslim Woman Magazine
Saaleha Bhamjee is a freelance writer based in South Africa. Her writings have appeared in various print and online publications both locally and abroad. She is an Islamic Writer's Alliance member.

It's a syndrome that we daughters-in-laws all suffer from at times. Disastrous is exactly what it is, for it obstructs peace and harmony in every family where the daughter-in-law manifests symptoms. For some of us it's a passing phase, like passing from adolescence to adulthood, while for others adulthood never comes, so the syndrome becomes chronic and general unhappiness is always the result thereof.
Because I received a fair amount of flak after publishing "Peace in Our Times: Mother- & Daughter-in-Law Syndrome" last month and had a good many daughters-in-law smiling benignly at their mothers-in-law when they shrewdly showed them the article, I felt a crying need to explore the other side of the coin.
"My Parents Are Better than Yours"
And what exactly is this "Disastrous Daughter-in-Law Syndrome" that I have just referred to? It starts with a belief that your in-laws are never good. Quite honestly, there is nothing good in them at all. You're always comparing them to your own parents, loudly and always in the presence of their son, with the express purpose of showing him just how inadequate his parents really are. You make a huge fuss of anything your parents give to you or your children, and even though you never vocalize it, the underlying meaning is "See, my parents love the children more than yours do!" If your in-laws send a gift, your ccomments are usually anything but kind.
You would gladly empty your entire house for your own parents, but if your in-laws request anything from their son, you get angry. It's an ongoing competition.
My parents are better than yours; my brother is handsomer than yours; my sisters bake better than yours; my cousins are friendlier than yours; my mother's house is cleaner than your mother's house; our children love my parents more than they do yours; my mother's cat is prettier than your mother's cat, and so on.

"Annoying, isn't it?" That's probably what most husbands would say. Depending on how fiercely loyal your husband is to his family, the results of this continuous battle will vary. Some men eventually succumb. They declare a cease-fire, promise never to mention anything good about their parents ever after, and are only too glad to spend every weekend thereafter at your parents' place, visiting their own parents only once every two months.
For other men, such behavior becomes an open declaration of war. They begin to keep you and the children away from your parents and insist that you spend every weekend thereafter at their parents' place, much to your ire.
So is there a solution?
Well, this is my well-tried remedy that has worked for me. The rules are as follows:
1. Grow up. Such behavior is decidedly immature.
2. Accept your in-laws as your own parents. You have them to thank for the wonderful man who has become your life partner.
3. Praise them often in the presence of your husband, family, and friends. That way, even though you haven't grown to like them as of yet, you will in time.
4. Realize that they are also humans. They have their faults. You would never disown your parents for their flaws, so how can you expect the same from your husband's parents?
5. Lower your expectations. As much as you might feel that marriage is a huge adjustment for you, having their son married is an adjustment for them, too. Their son no longer belongs exclusively to them. You all will now have to learn to share.
6. Treat them respectfully. A bad word creates a permanent rift.
7. Be thankful, rather than jealous, when your children show them love. Would you deprive your own children of the love of their grandparents, confining them only to the love of your own parents because of jealousy? How would you feel if your brother's wife did the same with your own parents?
8. Do all you can to make them feel at home when they come by for a visit. You would do the same for your own parents, no doubt.
9. Never speak ill of them in the presence of your children. If they have overstepped their boundaries, discuss this in private with your husband.
10. Never drag your husband into an argument between your mother-in-law and yourself. By doing this, you place your husband in a very precarious position. Should you have any issue you need to address with your mother-in-law, do so in a respectful manner. By holding mature adult discussions, an amicable agreement can be reached.
11. Instead of demanding, be a giver. Always remember that it is sheer folly to always go around demanding that your rights be fulfilled. Rather, concentrate on fulfilling the rights of others. In so doing, you will find that those around you will automatically begin to fulfill your rights.
12. Recompense comes from Allah. Give and give and don't ever expect something in return. Always remember that the best recompense is always from Allah. Allah says [And what is the reward of good except good?] (Ar-Rahman 55:60).
Now, mother-in-law, pick up that phone and call your daughter-in-law. It's time to get your own back. Provided, of course, that you took the advice for mothers-in-law given the last time around